Visible skin discoloration, scaling, or scarring can make it difficult to feel confident. “Atopic dermatitis has a significant impact on confidence, self-esteem, and quality of life,” says Elizabeth Tkachenko, MD, a dermatologist and director of the atopic dermatitis clinic at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. “Skin conditions are visible to everyone we interact with, and flare ups in certain areas — like the face or hands — can be particularly challenging for this reason.”
“Shifting away from this mindset begins with recognizing that atopic dermatitis is a medical condition, not a personal flaw,” says Mohammad Jafferany, MD, a professor of psychodermatology, psychiatry, and behavioral sciences at Covenant HealthCare College of Medicine at Central Michigan University in Mount Pleasant. “Seeking effective treatment, practicing self-compassion, and challenging negative beliefs about appearance can help.”
While building self-confidence doesn’t happen overnight, small mindset shifts can change how you think about yourself and respond to difficult moments and help you feel more confident in your skin over time.
1. Reframe Negative Thoughts With More Positive Ones
We all have negative thoughts from time to time, but if these thoughts become a habit, they can chip away at your self-esteem and take a toll on your mental health. “Negative thoughts, such as, ‘Everyone is staring at my skin’ or ‘People are judging me,’ are common among individuals with visible skin conditions,” says Dr. Jafferany.
Learning how to recognize and reframe negative thoughts can help you develop a more compassionate and realistic view of yourself.
The first step is to notice any negative thoughts when they happen. Then, ask yourself:
- Is there any evidence that this thought is true?
- Is there another way to look at this situation?
- What would I say to a friend who had this same thought?
Try to replace the negative thought with a more balanced one. For example, instead of thinking, “Everyone is looking at me,” you may tell yourself, “Most people are focused on themselves, not my skin.”
“I try to remind people that we are often much harsher judges of ourselves than others are,” says Peter A. Lio, MD, a clinical assistant professor of dermatology and pediatrics at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago. “Most people notice us far less than we imagine, and many are far more compassionate than we expect.”
2. Celebrate What Your Body Can Do, Not Just What It Looks Like
When you’re living with atopic dermatitis, it can be easy to focus on how your skin looks. But try to remember that you are more than your skin.
“Your atopic dermatitis is something you live with. It is not who you are,” says Jafferany. “It does not define your character, abilities, relationships, or future.”
Shifting your focus from what your body looks like to what it does for you can help you build confidence. Take a moment each day to appreciate everything your body allows you to do, whether that’s going for a walk, hugging your loved ones, or simply taking deep, calming breaths.
Make a list of your abilities, positive qualities, and strengths that have nothing to do with your appearance. Are you a good cook? Can you run a mile? Do you have a great sense of humor? Write them all down, and review the list whenever you need a reminder of your value.
The goal isn’t to ignore the challenges of atopic dermatitis. It’s to recognize that your self-worth comes from who you are as a person, not just how your skin looks.
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