1. Don’t Put Pressure on Yourself to Talk About It Right Away
In the early stages of dating, when you’re just getting to know someone, just know that you don’t need to talk about hair loss unless you want to. If the relationship progresses, you can share more, at whatever pace feels comfortable for you, says Dr. Williams. Remember: You own your own story.
2. Know How to Explain Alopecia
“I believe the way you present hair loss to someone is the way they accept it,” says Amy Gibson, an actress and alopecia advocate based in Los Angeles. Gibson also wrote the book Sex, Wigs, and Whispers; Love and Life With Hair Loss about her experiences with dating, intimacy, and being a working actress with alopecia.
Not everyone has a lot of knowledge about hair loss; other people may have misconceptions about it. Gibson recommends having an “elevator pitch” about alopecia — what it is, and what others should know about it.
3. Put It in Perspective
4. Be Confident
Once you feel comfortable with the relationship, you can bring up your alopecia. That may take a little bit of time (and that’s normal), but you’ll get there. “There was a time I didn’t want to go out of the house. I didn’t want to wear a wig either,” says Smriti Tuteja, a writer in India who has alopecia.
But, she says, “being truthful about your condition and owning it with confidence is the key.” She adds, “It is also a good idea to express how you feel about the condition. This can help save you from a lot of heartache later.” Remember: A potential mate should be understanding and supportive about what you share. If they aren’t, they may not be the right person for you.
Alopecia and Your Appearance: Owning Your Hair Loss or Hiding It
There’s no right way to handle hair loss — only what’s right for you. “Alopecia’s impact on self-esteem and confidence is real, diverse, and uniquely personal,” says Shani Francis, MD, a dermatologist and hair loss specialist based in Los Angeles, who has alopecia herself and experienced hair loss as a child.
Women are particularly affected, says Tuteja. “When people want you to adhere to a certain standard, you assess your worth with that lens and end up being unkind to yourself,” she says.
If your hair loss bothers you or you want to camouflage it, you can talk to a hair loss specialist, such as a dermatologist, about options. “For some, that could include medical treatment or involve a wig, toupee, or new hairstyle, but for others — both men and women — it could also mean embracing a new image,” says Dr. Francis.
“Camouflaging agents can be incredibly powerful to help people feel confident and gain control back at a time when it has visibly been taken away from them,” says Kristen Lo Sicco, MD, a dermatologist at NYU Langone in New York City. “Makeups and powders (such as Toppik) and cranial prostheses (such as wigs) or other styling techniques can help to improve quality of life for those suffering from alopecia.”
Williams specializes in scalp micropigmenting, a temporary camouflaging that can help hide hair loss while you are waiting for the results of treatment, which can take up to or even more than a year. “It does not return all the appearance of density, but it can provide some social relief,” he says.
If you’re interested in exploring surgical options like a hair transplant, Williams recommends visiting the American Board of Hair Restoration Surgeons to find a qualified surgeon.
Above all, remember that you’re not alone. “Hair loss affects millions of men and women, and there are countless support groups and professional organizations that advocate, research, and support those who have alopecia,” says Francis. These include the American Academy of Dermatology and the National Alopecia Areata Foundation.
Your hair loss is unique to you, and so is the way you want to handle it. But keep in mind that hair loss is only one aspect of who you are. “Just because you’ve lost your hair doesn’t mean you’ve lost who you are,” says Gibson. “No one can duplicate your sensuality and sexuality — that comes from within.”
The Takeaway
- Alopecia, or hair loss, is a very common condition that may harm your self-esteem and interfere with your dating life.
- You don’t have to talk about hair loss on the first date. Open up to your partner when it feels right.
- Don’t let alopecia define you. Hair loss is only one part of you. Just because you’ve lost your hair doesn’t mean you’ve lost who you are.
Read the full article here
