For many people, sleep and sex are very closely intertwined. Whether it’s partnered sex or masturbation, it’s common to think of pleasure as a bedtime-adjacent activity. But besides being convenient, can masturbation help you sleep? Is it good to masturbate before sleep? Or are we all just doing it because hey, we’re already in bed?
“Sex and sleep are essential pillars in maintaining wellbeing,” says sex educator and psychotherapist Sarah Kelleher, CHSE, LCSW. However, Kelleher adds that “when it comes to studies exploring the connection between sexual activity and improved sleep, research is still sparse. The few studies that have been done, however, reveal some interesting results.” Case in point: sex educator Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for Biird, points to a recent study1 based on diary entries for 256 men and women. This study “found that masturbation and sex helped people fall asleep faster and improved the quality of their sleep as long as they orgasmed; gender did not make a difference,” Weiss explained. The top theories here revolve around orgasm from masturbation as kicking off a flood of hormones that make your brain happy, sleepy, and satisfied at the same time.
But talking to more experts, it seems that there are benefits of masturbating before sleep — even without orgasm (though, that certainly helps). Removing orgasm as the end goal, masturbation before sleep could still be quite helpful in improving body image, promoting a deeper connection with your body, and even in calming your mind. For more on the benefits of masturbation before sleep (with and without orgasm), read on.
5 Reasons Masturbation Before Sleep Is Good For You
1. Masturbation before sleep can help improve sleep quality
“One of the main ways that masturbating before bed can lead to better sleep is that it can improve the quality of your sleep,” says sexologist and relationship expert Jenn Gunsaullus, PhD, who goes by Dr. Jenn. Specifically, through the hormones released through orgasm, Dr. Jenn adds. These hormones “can promote feelings of relaxation and reduce cortisol, the stress related hormone that can interfere with sleep,” Dr. Jenn explains.
Kelleher, agrees, explaining that many of the hormones involved with orgasm could positively impact sleep, including oxytocin, dopamine, prolactin, and vasopressin.
2. Masturbation before sleep may help change patterns of doomscrolling
If you find that you’re addicted to scrolling through your phone when really, you should be scrolling through REM, masturbating before sleep can be a good way to change your habits and patterns, Dr. Jenn says. Much has been said about the harmful effects of blue light on your body when trying to sleep, so masturbating instead of scrolling social media or watching streaming shows can help “create a bedtime routine with less stimulation from technology, and more relaxation from taking care of yourself,” she adds.
3. Masturbation before sleep may calm your mind
“If you have trouble turning off your brain at night time, taking the time to masturbate, especially if you intentionally make it a more meditative and mindful experience, can help calm your brain,” Dr. Jenn says (and we’ll dive more into the mindfulness of this in a sec). By “choosing to focus your attention on the nourishing act of masturbating and reminding yourself that you’re worth taking care of, [you] can set the stage for a more relaxing shift to sleep,” Dr. Jenn says. Not to mention, by viewing masturbation as a healthy habit, this may also help re-write any internal dialogue you have around sexual shame.
In fact, masturbating before sleep might even be considered a mindfulness practice, says certified sex therapist Jaqueline Mendez, explaining that “when we masturbate as a mindfulness practice, it’s not necessarily chasing the orgasm. Sometimes it’s learning what different touches to the different parts of the body do for you.”
4. Masturbation before sleep could help with your body image
As Well+Good contributor Natalie Arroyo Camacho discovered when she challenged herself to masturbate before bed every night for a week, the practice of making time for self-pleasure led to a more positive relationship with her body image, something she previously struggled with.
“I[‘d] long been self-conscious that, because I’m not a size two, my body wouldn’t feel good to someone else. But once I actually ran my hands down my body amid the experiment, I realized that I actually did feel good—smooth, soft— and that I wasn’t thinking about how my body looked,” Camacho wrote. After masturbating every night for a week, Camacho found that she felt “less self-conscious about how others might perceive [her] during partnered sex.” Speaking of partnered sex, mutual masturbation when dating a partner may also help improve body image and show your partner exactly what you like.
5. Masturbation before bed might help you sleep better because you may perceive it (and any orgasms that go with it) to be associated with better sleep
Placebo effect, baby! As Kelleher explains, this is one of the more fascinating and interesting parts of current research out there. A 2019 study2 suggested that “the perception and belief that masturbation can aid in better sleep actually helps masturbation and orgasm to aid in better sleep,” as Kelleher explains. Basically, “if you believe masturbation and orgasms help you sleep, you’ll be able to fall asleep faster,” she says. Belief is a powerful thing, truly.
Of course, one study isn’t conclusive, and as Kelleher says, “More research in this area needs to be done.” However, she adds that “this placebo effect helps to explain why many respondents in surveys3 reported masturbation before sleep is a helpful nighttime routine.” It’s kind of a chicken-and-the-egg type scenario, except with waking up refreshed.
Tips for Masturbating Before Bed
1. Set an alarm for one hour before bedtime
Dr. Jenn recommends setting an alarm for one hour before your usual bedtime to let your body know to wind down and stop any technology use at that time. You can then “use this time to slow down, play music that is fun or relaxing, light a scented candle, and start slowly touching your body and exploring your erotic responses,” Dr. Jenn says.
2. Take your time
Just because you’ve set an alarm for one hour before bedtime, don’t feel constricted to keep your self-pleasure sesh to just one hour. “Take as little or as long as you like,” Dr. Jenn says. Taking time to figure out if masturbating before bed will help you sleep better may take some experimentation, Kelleher adds, and suggests that the best way to figure it out is to grab some lube, a toy, and see if your sleep shifts or if you notice any differences in drifting off to sleep or even waking up the next day. For toy suggestions, Kelleher recommends the Zumio E, adding the reminder that “no amount of lube is too much.”
3. Reduce distractions
Sexologist Rebecca Alvarez Story also suggests reducing distractions. While this of course, includes the technology that Dr. Jenn also mentioned above, Story also adds that this can include “making sure the clutter around your room is put away, or making sure you shut the door,” she says. “It sounds like basic things, but just make sure that you can concentrate on just you.” The less you worry about things like someone accidentally barging into your room (because you know the universe will have your roommate enter unannounced at the most inconvenient of times), the easier it is to let go.
4. Set the ambiance
Story also suggests surrounding yourself with things that motivate you to masturbate, like candles, aromatherapy, lubricants, arousal oils, and taking time to focus on ambiance. Take the time to look into some kink-friendly masturbation ideas if that’s what you’re into! Again, if you treat pre-bedtime masturbation like an extension of self-care, it’ll help you remember that you’re worthy of pleasure.
Read the full article here
