7 Steps to Handle a Grief Attack
There are many techniques you can try to lessen the severity of a grief attack. It may be helpful to try out a variety of approaches to see which ones help you the most, Seeley says.
1. Do Jumping Jacks (or Another Brief, Intense Exercise)
For the same reason, it may help during a grief attack, Seeley says. “It can help you find a way to deal with that overwhelming urge to do something, to fix the situation.”
2. Eat Sour Candies
“Do something that gives you a very intense sensory experience,” Seeley recommends. Sensory stimulation — like eating something sour or holding ice in your hands — can ground you when you’re experiencing scary physiological symptoms, like shortness of breath or trembling, and help you calm down. Sour candies are a popular choice, but you can also use other strong flavors like wasabi or horseradish.
3. Dunk Your Face in a Bowl of Cold Water
In a study published in Frontiers in Psychiatry in 2021, researchers had 16 people with panic disorder submerge their faces in cold water for 30 seconds. They found the practice significantly reduced participants’ heart rate and lessened symptoms of anxiety and panic. Exposing your body to cold temperatures may also help if you’re experiencing a grief attack, Seeley says.
4. Try to Pace Your Breathing
5. Practice Relaxing Different Muscle Groups
To try progressive muscle relaxation, practice clenching your fists, wrinkling your forehead, or tensing your biceps; hold each muscle in position for a few seconds, then relax it.
6. Be Mindful of Your Grief
One common mindfulness practice is the body scan. To do this, focus on different body parts, one at a time, pausing to relax your muscles and notice any sensations you’re experiencing in each. Start with your feet and slowly work your way up from your toes to the very top of your head.
7. Practice Acceptance
A small study of grieving people, published in 2024, showed that accepting (rather than avoiding) “grief-related experiences” — such as distressing thoughts, emotions, and memories — helped participants endure “distressing internal experiences” related to their grief.
Acceptance — which involves allowing yourself to think and feel uncomfortable thoughts and emotions rather than trying to suppress them — is crucial to your grief journey, and may help you during a grief attack, Seeley says. “Allow yourself to feel the grief instead of pushing it away.”
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