Handling High-Stress Moments
If your loved one is acting out of character or is apathetic, confused, or aggressive, it can feel overwhelming for you. Numerous strategies can help you handle these moments.
Remember: It’s Not Personal
It may be hard to remember in the moment, but your loved one’s behavior may not be directed at you, Harper says.
“The tumor is causing these changes, and the person is not acting willfully,” she says, adding that the changes are not “a reflection of their true thoughts and feelings.”
If a behavior starts to ramp up, try to remind yourself of this fact.
Validate, Then Redirect
“Listening and validating the person’s feelings can be the most effective way to de-escalate or mitigate feelings,” says Harper, who recommends asking people with glioblastoma to talk more about how they feel without trying to solve or correct their emotions.
From there, gently redirect the conversation or shift to a different activity, Youssef says.
“It is also completely appropriate for caregivers to step away and take a brief break if needed,” he says. “Creating space can benefit both the patient and the caregiver.”
Identify Triggers
If you notice a frequent behavior, you can try to identify triggers that prompt it or keep it going, Harper says. She suggests asking these questions when your loved one is upset or acts out of character:
- Are they in pain or physically uncomfortable?
- Are they afraid?
- Are they lacking stimulation or activities to motivate them or keep them engaged?
For example, if you notice that hunger makes your loved one agitated, you can offer a snack when emotions start to run high.
Gently Reengage
Apathy is often one of the more difficult changes for families to process, Youssef says. But you can take steps to reengage someone who has this symptom.
“Open-ended questions can feel overwhelming, so offering simple, concrete choices is often more effective,” Youssef says.
You can also suggest activities or tasks that are broken down into smaller, more manageable steps to draw someone out, he says.
Stay Flexible
Different techniques may work differently on different days, so it’s important to stay flexible to your loved one’s needs, Harper says.
“Understanding that some approaches may work better than others at certain times or in certain places, or that a combination of methods might be needed to help the person cope, supports us in being effective caregivers,” she says.
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