When a friend, family member, or other loved one has prostate cancer, you want to be supportive. Yet it’s sometimes hard to find the right words. Even with the right intentions, you could say the wrong thing. Some well-meaning phrases minimize or invalidate the person’s experience, or add to their stress.
“The challenge is that there often aren’t perfect words for a situation that feels frightening, uncertain, and deeply personal,” says Seyma Saritoprak, PhD, a clinical health psychologist at City of Hope Orange County in Irvine, California.
Remember that you don’t need to come up with the perfect response. You just need to show up. “I encourage people to focus less on finding the ‘right’ thing to say and more on listening. Feeling heard, supported, and understood is often more meaningful than receiving advice or encouragement,” Dr. Saritoprak says.
Here are a few examples of what not to say to someone with prostate cancer, and more helpful phrases to use instead.
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