Receiving a diagnosis of metastatic mTNBC can unleash a flood of emotions, and you may have emotional highs and lows throughout your journey. It’s common to feel:
- Hope fatigue (exhaustion from staying positive during ongoing treatment)
- Isolation and loneliness
- Sadness and grief over the loss of a “normal” life
- Scanxiety (anxiety around upcoming scans or test results)
- Survivor’s guilt, particularly if you’ve connected with others in the breast cancer community who are no longer here
- Uncertainty regarding your future and what it means for your loved ones and your plans
These feelings are valid, and you’re not alone in them. But there are things you can do to manage your emotional health:
Find a Therapist
Therapists, oncology social workers, psychologists, and psychiatrists with experience in metastatic breast cancer counseling can offer coping strategies and a space to process complex feelings. In addition to one-on-one therapy, you might also consider group therapy. “This can be particularly helpful, because metastatic breast cancer can be such a lonely and isolating disease,” says James.
If you’re a person of color, consider seeking a therapist who understands the added layers that can bring to navigating cancer care.
Join a Support Group
Talking to others who understand, whether online or in person, can be incredibly grounding. The cancer center you go to may host support groups specifically for mTNBC. If not, you may be able to find a group through a national organization such as TNBC Thrivers or Living Beyond Breast Cancer.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing, guided imagery, and meditation, can help ease anxiety and keep you feeling centered. Many apps and websites offer free guided meditations, and some cancer centers provide mindfulness workshops. “Once you’re comfortable using these tools, you can do them yourself whenever you’re feeling anxious, no matter where you are — whether it’s in a waiting room, in an Uber, or on the subway,” says James.
Plan for Scans
Think about previous scans and how they have affected you. “Maybe you need to take the morning or whole day off from work. Maybe you want to go alone, or you might want someone to go with you. Maybe you need a treat that night, or maybe you’ll need one the next day,” says James. “There’s no right or wrong way, but be honest with yourself about what you need. And once you figure it out, plan for it.”
Reframe Your Goals
You don’t necessarily have to give up on your goals, but you may need to adjust them. One way to do this is to home in on the intent behind a goal. “For example, maybe you had a goal to write a book, and now you feel like you can’t. Think about what the book was going to do for you,” says James. “If the crux of the goal was to tell your story, maybe there are other ways to do that, such as going to groups, sharing on social media, or writing poems. Goals may have to shift, but that doesn’t mean they’re better or worse. It’s about accepting that some things will be different.”
Ask for and Accept Help
“People often want to help, but they don’t know how. So it’s okay to steer them,” says James. You might assign jobs based on people’s skills and interests. Maybe one friend has great musical taste and can make you a playlist, while another can help with transportation. A tech-savvy friend may be more than happy to solve a problem you’re having with your phone or laptop. It’s okay to lean on your loved ones and ask for what you need.
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