How to Set Boundaries and Get What You Need

Staff
By Staff
2 Min Read

Once you’ve identified which tasks you’re struggling with and some ideas about what specific tasks or steps you need help with, you’re ready to take the next step: communicating those needs to family and friends.

It helps to think about who in your circle is best suited for different kinds of support — for example, emotional support versus administrative or logistical help.

Consider where you would be comfortable talking about this, whether at your home or in a more neutral location (that may offer less privacy) like a restaurant, says Goriparthi.

Once you decide to have the first conversation, be specific about how you would like to be treated. “Try to have an open and honest discussion about boundaries of when help is welcome, and where it isn’t,” he says.

This may take repeated conversations about boundary setting, which will gradually allow you to have healthier conversations.

“Don’t try to do it all at once. Give time to the family members for these conversations to sink in. Let them process the emotions,” says Goriparthi.

Listening matters too. Family members may be worried about safety. Finding compromises — such as shared calendars, reminder systems, or location-sharing apps — can sometimes reassure loved ones while reducing the need for frequent check-ins.

“Remember, you do not have to talk about everything in the first conversation, and you don’t have to talk to everyone at once,” he says.

It’s a gradual process, says Goriparthi. “Every time you start a conversation you come closer to making your wishes fully known to that friend or family member. Remember, anything you say is not permanent, you can always change your mind as things change in the future,” he says.

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