There is not a “right” time to disclose that you have UC, although Simons says earlier is usually better. “In general, we find people are more satisfied when they’re able to talk about what’s going on for them, even if it doesn’t mean sharing all of the details,” she says.
“I always lived by the motto that telling folks sooner rather than later was always better,” says Kelley. “Telling a potential partner on the first or second date allows you to gauge if they’re worth your continued energy.”
When you are ready to talk, remember that not everyone is familiar with UC. Start by giving your partner the basics. You could say, “It’s a lifelong condition that causes inflammation and sores in the large intestine and rectum,” or alternatively, “It’s a chronic inflammatory bowel disease.” Then focus on what UC is like for you and how they can help — for example, knowing there’s a bathroom readily available in case your symptoms are flaring.
“Your partner isn’t going to know what you need unless you tell them, so they really benefit from knowing what that experience is like for you and what you found helpful in coping with it,” says Simons.
It’s also a good idea to save this conversation for when your disease is in remission, Simons adds, since you may feel more stable then and more confident in your ability to communicate with the other person.
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