If you’re unintentionally celibate — meaning you want to have sex but can’t find a partner — then abstinence can negatively impact self-esteem and mental health, Grines says.
Becoming celibate just because you see a TikTok trend might not be a good move, either. “Celibacy should be a choice and something to be curious about, not a prescription you hand out to everyone on the street,” Grines adds.
Make sure to reflect on why you want to be celibate: Have you had harmful sex that you need to process? Celibacy could help. Do you feel ashamed or like you just don’t deserve to have good sex? That should be worked through, perhaps with a sex therapist, Grines says.
Another consideration is making sure you meet your touch needs, as humans are wired for physical connection, Herzog says. “It doesn’t have to be sexual. It could be hugs with friends and family or getting a regular massage.”
Finally, while celibacy has benefits, enjoyable and consensual sex can also reduce stress, release dopamine, and enhance relationship satisfaction. So if you’re celibate, check in with yourself periodically to make sure it’s still empowering, not restrictive, Nelson says.
Whether you choose to be celibate or not, know that you’re not the only one responsible for improving your sexual experiences, Grines says. “Our culture needs to shift so that opting out isn’t the only path to feeling respected. We need better sex education, partners who prioritize pleasure, and dating norms that don’t put the entire burden of managing desire on women,” she says.
Read the full article here
